the smoke alarm

This morning was a bit of a blur…my husband, john, woke me early because he knows I like to kiss him “goodbye” and grab his ass on the driveway in front of the neighbors who pretend not to notice at their breakfast table, everyday that he goes to work. I know it might sound sweet BUT there is a little bit of a devious plan on my part as well though…..you see, I married my “boy-toy” husband, who I fortunately looked quite a bit younger than (good genes I guess) at the time of the marriage, but after a full onset of menopause, I’ve aged 25 years in a 8 year span of our marriage.

But true to his word…he has proved to me everyday how much he still loves me. I know this because I ask him daily….and he always answers….”I love you honey because you’re cute as a button…you love me…and you’re down right crazy!”….all while in a soft, sexy, southern accent and his “magnum” moustache slightly twitching.

At any rate, my husband was blessed with better genes than I, so now I look 20 years older than him….hence the “devilish” ritual of the “goodbye” kiss & ass-grabbing has a whole new kink to it J

Another thing that happened this morning as John left for work…he’s a little deaf in one ear so he didn’t notice that the smoke alarm battery was low…so of course it chirps LOUDLY once every 40 seconds. This would not be a problem, but you see I’m LESS than 4’8” tall (shrinkage due to menopause I think)….even with the tallest ladder I can manage, I can’t reach the damn thing….did I mention it chirps every 40 seconds….as long as the earth moves, or at least all day while my husband is at work.

I don’t mean to get morbid BUT I really hope those insurance statistics ARE NOT true…that of a married couple, it’s the man who dies first, usually.

Before I agreed to marry john, I told him of all my health issues, my finances…talked about age, death & taxes in detail…also required that we live together for one year and if he couldn’t handle it all, that he could walk away without a lot of drama & still have a friend for life…..after our second date, we’ve been inseparable, married now for 8 years…we would have celebrated BUT we both forgot…he might look like my son, but mentally we are the same forgetful old farts that somehow found each other.

Anyway what inspired this entry in my blog was the thought of life without john…unable to fix that damn smoke alarm…unable to scandalize the neighbors…and not hearing my husband say,”I love you honey because you’re cute as a button, you love me, and you’re down right crazy”.