OMG! Finally a "Follow-up"

I'm so sorry for leaving my regular followers with a "cliff hanger"...it's been about a week since I was told John, my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer after a rather "lucky" appendictomy attack that forced the operation and lead directly to the cancer location and eventually the decision to take all of the suspected diseased area in one feld swoop.

John has to recoop from the initial operation which will be approx. 6 weeks....BUT this friday, they did get preliminary results that confirmed they got all, if not most of the cancer, BUT they are still leaving open the door that chemo may still need to be done...BUT we won't know till after a few more tests.

As i look back on this...it was the unspeakable nightmare anyone could ever hear about a loved-one, soulmate, friend/ love, BUT with the happy ending everyone wants in a movie. We are only slowly going through some hard "truths" that have come up in our screwy relationaship.

i married my "boy toy" husband...i'm the one who was suspected of dying first, due to my heart condition... John was always the healthy person still working, while i was forced to retire early...we sacrificed all for good cars for him & his job not realizing that i could not reach the gas pedals or brakes. So much of my time during the runs to the hospital & emergency rooms was trying tp negociate transport for both of us...all the while looking like i was going to have a heart attack at any moment.

We are now at the stage where i'm trying to slow him down at home...he's always been a work-a-holic, but knowing that he's forced to take it easy for 6 weeks is driving him to plan home projects...OMG!!! I would sit on him, but I think I might burst his stitches :D

I Don't Know What to do Without Him...

this is just a short entry to mark a time i rather not even deal with...BUT so far it has affected to the point of confusion & numbness in my heart and soul.

on august 13th, 2011 ...my poor husband checked himself into the emergency ward with some on-going adominal pains. He was initially diagnosised with appendicitus and during the operation they found colon cancer. I was told that it was a God-send that he had suffered the appendicitus, otherwise the cancer might not have been found before it was inoperatable...so now there will be 6 wks. of rest to heal from the initial operation, then possibly chemo, definitely another colon operation & continued chemo therapy.

my regular followers know how much my husband , John means to me...he's my BEST friend, soulmate, and love of my life. For those of you new to this blog, quite of few of earlier writings have been about us (see links to them by clicking "love & crushes" header).

I'm sooo scared of what the future holds for us...i don't know what I would do without him...one of my biggest fears is physically not being able to help him through this. Though I think I could drive, I find that of the two cars we have, i'm too short & squat to touch the pedals while looking over the steering wheel...so at this point trying to find volunteer drivers to doctor & hospital appointments