11/25/2008

"boy-toy"



I married my “boy toy”, John. He’s not my first love, but I knew he would be my last.

We met late in your lives. He was in his early 40’s and I was crashing into my 50th birthday.

When you’re young & dating, you have the tendancy to blurt out all your past relationships…thinking you’re just opening up & sharing…trying to have a meaningful encounter with a new potential “love”. But if you take the time to go to the other side of the mirror, you’ll see someone making a damn good point why not to date them.

Both John & I had been on both sides of the mirror. Had all the so called “fun” in dating and were so tired. We did want to have companionship…friendship…whatever. No commitments…just a potential friend to go to concerts, movies, dinners out & talk & bitch about work, our bosses, and life in general.

In the process of not looking for “the One”, we found each other. After a few months, John proposed and of course I said yes with conditions. Though I looked pretty good, I was chronically ill. We talked at length about my health and what would potentially happen. My looks…my stamina…my heart would all be gone sooner than most. I told him I would marry him only after a year when he could think about the situation and see some of the deterioration.

After a year, I think I was more scared than I ever had been when my doctors first announced my prognosis. I thought John might decide to leave…but he stayed.

I know nothing of John’s past relationships and he only knows enough of mine to explain some of my weird behavior. For a short moment I once tried to figure out our marriage dynamics…the only thing I could come up with, was we try to help each other whenever we can…I clean the litter box because I know he hates to do it…he throws out the garbage without a fuss because I’m too weak to do it…I give him free access to the remote & try to make him laugh during the commercials when I know he’s had a hard day…and when I feel too ugly & fat, he caresses my cheek and kisses me just like on our first date.

6 comments:

jan said...

Thanks for sharing your love story. The Mr. and I married late-ish, too. We started out as just someone to "hang" with and then fell in love. The Mr. is not in good health,either, but none of us has guarantees...

Christy said...

A lovely story indeed. Best wishes to you both.

Lia @ Bullfinch and Barbury said...

TAG, you're it!
You've been tagged to share 7 random facts about yourself! See my blog for the details/rules.

Adorn Me jewelry said...
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Adorn Me jewelry said...

This is beautiful and very touching. It also could have been written by me, except that now I'm 50 and he's 43, and we met just over 4 years ago. Other than that? Oh yeah. And, I also call Eric my Boy Toy. :c)

I'm happy for you that you each found your love. It truly is what gives life it's sparkle and glow. The very best to you both, always.

Phyllis said...

When I got married at 50, I called myself the 'oldest first time bride in America', but of course I'm not.